Change is a process. It takes time. It takes focus and effort. Especially when we are talking about changing an established behavior. On the rare blessed occasion that we just wondrously realize an action is no longer serving us, that it is no longer satisfying, and that we desire something new, then in real time successfully make a shift – Hallelujah. glory be to God. That’s magical and magnificent, but it’s not typical.
Typically, we are struggling. We are working hard to make changes, often frustrated and unsure. In the most ingrained areas we have become experts at the status quo. We have gotten exceptionally good at doing things the way we’ve done them for ions. We have all sorts of layers and mechanisms holding our old behaviors firmly in place. And, let’s give credit where credit is due; no matter how messed up the way we are doing something is, we excel at it! We’ve perfected our behavior, and we are at the very least consistent. Remember, we initially adopted this approach for good reason. It was initially acquired to serve our us and our best interests. And now, it’s going to take some time and practice to free us from the well intentioned chains.
To change, we’ll need practice and lots of it. We will need to be determined, patient and forgiving. During this time of transition, it is important to commend ourselves on a job well done for every teeny tiny step we make in the right direction and reserve judgment and criticism for our excruciating snail’s pace and far too frequent regressions. Any forward movement is commendable, and we need to refrain from berating ourselves for the tiny slips, or huge lunges, backward. Transgression is a predictable part of the process. We are breaking old habits here. We are dismantling well established patterns. We are braving change, and that means daring greatly -challenging ourselves and exposing our vulnerabilities. And, that ain’t easy. It’s scary, so be determined.
Change can be hard. hard to initiate, hard to accept and hard to sustain. There are reasons we do what we do, the way we do. Darn good reasons. They may no longer be serving us, and it’s time for them to go, but that doesn’t mean they will go quietly or won’t put up a fight! Determination, appreciation and practice must be our new allies. Practicing our new behaviors with kindness to all parts of ourselves, including the stubborn parts that want to hold on to the known and dependable at any cost, and the daring parts that are ready for new frontiers – adventure, improvement and change.
Bring on the challenge, and go BIG!